Livin' life...

So, Fernando and I watched this movie tonight:

Couples Retreat

I had heard mixed reviews about the movie, but amongst the other movies to choose from, it was the only one that piqued my interest even a little.  It turned out being a good choice!  Fernando and I both laughed pretty often, and the underlying message about marriage was one we both left the theater feeling good about. 

In the movie, there are four couples: Jason and Cynthia are super anal, by the book, plan every little thing, intellectual, no emotions type couple, and the retreat is all their idea...as presented in their PowerPoint slideshow on the downhill slope their marriage was sliding.  Shane and Jennifer are divorced, although Shane still loves his ex, but is now "moving on" as advised, with a 20-yr old.  Shane is a sweet, gentle, wears-his-heart-on-his sleeve kind of guy whose wife left him to "see what more was out there."  Joey and Lucy are a stereotypical high school relationship: cheerleader and football champ, got pregnant on prom night, got married and have lived their lives both wondering what might have been, loving each other beneath it all, but lusting for more.  And then Dave and Ronnie are the "average" couple who love each other, but are not always on the same page, have two kids and Dave has kind of taken his wife for granted, getting wrapped up in work and "every day life."  The plot takes you through their problems and discoveries.  I like this movie because, as cheesy as it sounds, everyone ends up together and happy in the end. 

I'm not gonna lie...Fernando and I snuck in quite a few smooches throughout the movie.  See, guys?  Taking your lady to a romantic comedy every now and then is good for everyone.  ;)  And when the movie finished, we felt happy about being together, and some of the lovey-doveyness had rubbed off on us.  We had a fun little discussion about which couple we might be like in 10 years or so. 

Have you thought about that?  What it will take to stay in love, stay happy?  I'll say one thing...today is 6 months that Fernando and I have been married...and I'm already starting to see the truth in the statements I hear from others of loving their spouse more "now" than they did "then." (Have you heard that country song, by the way?  "Then" by Brad Paisley.  It's fabulous!)  I feel like we're still just babies when it comes to this whole marriage thing.  I hear my co-workers talk about their memories of those first days and years, fights, make ups, the bad things, the good things....I hear from friends who are closer to the first days and years and their own set of adventures.  I hear it all...

And, yet, everything I hear somewhat fades away when I am with MY husband.  Yeah, I hear it all...but nothing I hear is like OUR story.  Because it's him.  Because it's me.  Because it's us.  I love that it's us...

I love dating my husband.  I love learning about him.  I love becoming better friends with him and knowing that he confides in me like he doesn't with anyone else in this world.  It's an intoxicating feeling to know that he shares part of himself with me that no one else knows.  As a woman, how can I not feel giddy that I have this sweetest of secrets all to myself? 

"And I thought I loved you then...."

 

So, now for the reason this week has been tough.  As I mentioned, Fernando and I were traveling since last Thursday.  So on Monday, I got back to work and was hit with a huge bomb in the morning.  I answered a phone call and took a message for my assistant.  The person calling left a message asking about the funeral.  A friend of my assistant's had just died and already had a memorial service, so I was a little unsure what the caller was talking about.  I asked Suzanne (my assistant) about it, and she dropped the bomb...

Last Thursday, the Perez family was in a tragic car accident, which killed the entire family of five.  Both parents and three beautiful little girls, 7, 5, and 4 (Perez family-The Eagle).  Why was this so difficult for me?  The oldest girl, Jeanette was a student of mine two years ago.  She was beautiful, sweet, kind, quiet, loving...she was one of the sweetest little girls I've ever taught, and she won my heart.  I was sad when she moved to a different school the following year, but grateful that I had had the blessing of being her teacher.  I can't describe what washed over me as the news sunk in.  Part of that is that I was in absolute shock.  I had my moment, shed some tears, but I still had a classroom full of kids that I had to teach right THEN.  I texted Fernando quickly, then pulled myself together and continued with my day.

Fernando was great.  He texted me back, saying he would be waiting for me at home to give me a hug.  I started watching a tribute video for the family on the funeral home website (Perez Family video tribute) but couldn't handle watching the whole thing.  Still, I thought I was holding on pretty well.

As I drove home that afternoon, I lost the battle of morbid thoughts entering my mind....how long were they alive, how did they suffer, if at all; who died first; how...who...why....

With tears streaming down my face, I dragged myself into my home, where Fernando was, indeed, waiting for me in the kitchen.  I stumbled into his arms and, there, I let myself go.  You know the power and strength of a marriage, and the importance, at a time like that.  Just being in his arms was all I needed at that moment, as I remembered the beautiful little girl that I had known for just a moment.

If nothing else, I think it is, at least, a blessing that the family died together and were not separated in that way.  I have seen others torn apart by death and being left behind.  And I know that those little girls are in a wonderful home with a loving Father, safe and happy.  But, still....it's hard to handle.  So this week has been very rough.  I have not been able to shake the feeling of sorrow...the funeral was Monday night, but I couldn't make myself go.

So...I pray for the remaining family and keep them in my heart.  God bless....

I know I'm a horrible blogger.  Sorry.  As everyone else writes, I, as well, am not even sure who reads this anyway.  Hence, lack of motivation to update as often.  There are other reasons also, but I won't go into those.

It has been a rough week.  Since last Thursday, Fernando and I were busy driving and doing wedding stuff.  He photographed a wedding in Corpus Christi last weekend.  We started the drive on Thursday, taking the opportunity (for me) to visit my college roommate and "sister by heart", Ashleigh, and her cute baby girl, Lily.  Love them!  She and her husband live halfway from CS to my hometown, so it's always nice to be able to stop by there when we're headed that way.

As soon as we got to my parents' house (saved on hotel costs), we had about an hour to shower and get dressed to drive to the main of Corpus for the rehearsal at the church and then the rehearsal dinner.  Of course, I was little more than a chauffeur, but happy to help my husband even in a small way.  I went to TAMU with the bride and her maid of honor, so I wasn't TOTALLY out of place.  :P  We did get a chance to stop by the Bayfront and sit by the water, sharing fries.

Speaking of which, I grew up in Corpus...I know the sound, the smell, the taste of the ocean.  I also know the seagulls.  As we sat, sharing fries, this little guy landed next to me:

 Looking ahead into the future, I strongly warned my non-ocean-savvy husband NOT to give ANY food to the seagull, as this would only entice others to join our little friend.  So what did my husband do?  Exactly.  He did what every other 5-yr old, 15-yr old, 25-yr old, MALE IN GENERAL, would do.  He tossed a couple of fries at the seagull.  Can you see where this is going?  It wasn't long until we had this group of scavengers surrounding us:

 

And then what did my husband do?  That's right...he decided to reach out and actually get a seagull to eat fries out of his hand.  Oy!

Loverly, eh?  I was terrified they would poop on us.  Fortunately, they did not.  And it did end up kind of fun.  :)

So it was a long day, but we went home, borrowed a movie from my father's treasure trove of DVD's (seriously, the man has just about every movie ever made) and spent the rest of the night snuggling and watching the movie before bedtime.  My parents were kind enough to let us sleep in their RV, which was much comfier than the other option: my sister's twin bed.  Right...'nuff said.  :)

The next day was even busier.  We woke up at 8 for a full day of the bride and girls getting ready, getting to the church, wedding ceremony, formal pictures with family and wedding party, formal pictures of the couple, set up of the reception, the reception itself and all that that entails.  We finally made it back home around midnight.  But Fernando got some BEAUTIFUL pictures.  Here are just a couple (sneak preview!):

It was a beautiful wedding, a beautiful couple, a beautiful setting.  But we got home dog-tired!  And, goodness, it was good to be home! :)

A few weeks ago, we traveled to Kemah, TX for another wedding.  This was for a co-worker of mine, Paty, and her now-husband, Merlin.  We arrived on a Friday at a beautiful bed-and-breakfast where the wedding and reception were taking place and where we were staying for the weekend.  It was gorgeous!  So Fernando photographed the happenings of the rehearsal and dinner on Friday.  On Saturday, things wouldn't be starting until the later afternoon, so we had the chance to head out and explore the Kemah Boardwalk.  It was a FANTASTICALLY beautiful day, great weather, blue skies...very nice.  So here are some pictures of our day on the Boardwalk:

 On the boat shuttle (can you tell we just woke up? :P ):

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wedding was fun and beautiful, full of family and friends of the bride and groom.  I can't say that I loved the mosquitoes....who absolutely ate me alive!  I was literally itching two weeks later.  I STILL have fading bite marks.  Oy!

Here are a few of the pictures from the wedding:

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not sure where I heard that quote...maybe it was a cartoon....

Anyway, I have been wanting to donate my hair for a VERY long time now.  I thought I would cut and donate it when summer started since the heat was rising and my hair was growing and growing...past my waistline when wet, right above it when curly.  I started asking around and got a lot of good tips on where to go and who to have cut my hair.  One problem...

They all cost money.

So today I grabbed the measuring tape, spray bottle, comb and scissors, nabbed my husband on my way to the bathroom and got to it.  It took me a second or two to cut the first (very small) section of hair.  That was the hardest part, although it wasn't all that difficult.  I've been wanting to do this for a while.  I have a lot of hair, and it's pretty healthy...I don't use much product and I wash and condition it pretty much every day.  It's a renewable resource, so why not help out another woman by giving part of my womanhood so she can enjoy her own?  Anyway, I cut off a small section first so that, no matter what, there was no going back.  Then Fernando and I took turns shifting my position and chopping off hair.  The final result?  A thick, curly, dark brown ponytail of about 12 inches.  I'm not exactly sure.  It's definitely more than 8 inches, which is the minimum requirement.  It's hard to measure exactly, though, with curly hair.  Now it's drying, which is another requirement, before I send it in.  My haircut is not completely even, but that's to be expected.  I wasn't too concerned about that, since unevenness can easily be hidden in my curls.  Even so, a friend of mine has already offered to help even it out tomorrow when Fernando and I join her and her hubby for dinner.  But I'm not worried.  We didn't do so bad, if I do say so myself.  So, are you ready for a little looksie?  Here she be....(take note...this, again, is not a professional cut nor a professional picture...but you get the idea).... :)

To find out more about where and why I'm donating my hair, please visit www.beautifullengths.com for more information.

I know. Since the last time I posted anything, I have started working again. The summer seemed to fly by way too fast, once July hit. The school year has started pretty well. I think this is the first year that I have finally felt, "hey, I've done this before! It's not so bad!" It helps that I have an awesome teaching partner. She and I both agree that that is just about the best part of our jobs. The kids are great, of course, but having the right teaching partner makes ALL the difference.

So the first couple of weeks, of course I was busy with TONS of stuff to get ready. And this being the first year my husband has been with me for a new school year, he didn't quite grasp the concept that no, I couldn't go to dinner/movies/etc because, yes, I was still at work until about 7 p.m. every day. :P Things are starting to wind down, though, and I am able to get home a bit earlier in the afternoon.

But the school year is off to a good start. I am trying very hard to be more organized this year. I really want to be a better teacher. I think I've reached the point in my career where I really do wonder what and how I'll do whatever needs to be done when Fernando and I decide to start our own family. I love my job! I really wish I can find a way to have it all. We'll see. We haven't gotten to that point yet.

So, we've been married for 4.5 months now. Crazy, huh? I definitely think so. The first two months were crazy hard. Seriously. I'll even admit that I had thoughts of questioning whether I had done the right thing, married the right man. I cried so much and so often those first couple of months. Of course, I was thinking like a teenager. It was difficult to get into the mentality of being MARRIED, of being a wife. I think, without fully realizing it, I really still wanted to live MY life, and just kind of assimilate my husband into my life. Marriage doesn't work that way, I have learned.

After month number two, things started turning around. Throughout it all, I WAS aware that I love this man more than I can say. And it's not like everything was him, or even that everything was me. It was just that we were two individuals who had had a mostly long-distance relationship for 2 years. Meshing our lives together, being both so independent, was a difficult task. But a task we both were determined to accomplish, because we both love each other and are committed to our marriage. When we learned that, we were able to reach this level of understanding and compromise in our marriage that has made a world of difference. We started learning what the other spouse was really about. We started to learn that building our life together wasn't about "winning or losing" one's self, but about becoming a whole new self, incorporating both individuals into a new entity of husband/wife. We're still learning a lot, but the last couple of months have been much more peaceful and fun.

Now, I read a lot of blogs and whatnot from other married couples and I used to wonder if there was something obviously wrong with me, or us. My conclusion is that everyone faces their own difficulties. And maybe not everyone lays it out for others to see. Probably a good idea. :P But we are not alone in getting a big, fat slap in the face from reality when we got married. And we are also not alone in getting an even big eye opener that it is all worth it, when you're with the right person. And I am with the right person. I can't imagine being with anyone else. As different as we are in so many ways, the fundamental foundation of our relationship is based on something almost incomprehensible, yet.....right. Sound cheesy? Oh, well. I'm not sure how to explain it correctly. (See? This is why words are so interesting and worthy of study!) All I know is that I love my wonderful, quirky, crazy, loving, amazing husband. All I know is that he loves me back, with all of my eccentricities as well. It's a wonderful adventure, this marriage thing. And he's a wonderful partner to have along the way. :)

This past week I spent a couple of days officially changing my name. It was a surreal but cool experience. After spending my life (until now) with only 2 names, I now have a first, middle (my maiden), and last name.

I've always thought that names are important. I've concluded that that's due to the fact that 1) people ALWAYS made fun of my name or shortened it in ways that I hated, laughing when I showed how upset it made me (which I think is just plain rude, but it seems people sometimes get a kick out of ticking me off for some reason...) and 2) my father made a HUGE deal about being a Berríos and what that stands for and what kind of example we always have to set to make sure we are living up to that name and giving it a good reputation. My parents also always emphasized the unique significance of our names (all from the Book of Mormon; girl names are all prophet names + a female name). So, henceforth, the importance of names has always been drilled into me. I find names and their significance pretty fascinating.

Another aspect of names that intrigues me is the way that names define relationships. Especially in my Hispanic heritage, where names are a huge indicator of family relations. For example, my actual given name is Nefilinda Berríos Ríos, but with no middle name. In our culture, a child has two last names: the first is the father's name, the latter the mother's. A married woman will also show her relationship in a unique name. For example, my mother's full name would be Ester A. Rios de Berríos, signifying that she is of her father's family (Ríos) but now belongs to her husband's family (de=of Berríos). I just find it all so interesting! And it makes things a little easier when it comes to genealogy. Of course, sometimes things can still get confusing (as with my mother's actual maiden name, but I won't go into that).

So, I actually did not do exactly what my mother did. I did retain my maiden name, but moved it to be my middle name, and will now use my husband's name as my own last name. Strange. But cool, because of the relationship it represents. I debated on whether or not I should follow the tradition of my blood culture and become Nefilinda Berríos de Weberich....but then I'd have a VERY long last name, which would make for a crazy signature. Yes, yes, the impracticality of it deterred me. :P

The point of all of this is that I changed my name. It took me a while because I've always been Nefilinda Berríos....and very proud of that. I didn't want to lose that identity. But I definitely wanted to show my tie to my wonderful husband. So being Nefilinda Berríos Weberich is a good new identity. The first change I made was on my SS card. I came home and surprised my husband with that...he was quite happy about it. He had said that it was up to me to change my name or not, but I wanted to and it made him happy, too. He keeps saying my new name in a very pleased way that just warms me right to my toes. :D

The second thing I did was change my driver's license... Now, I've only had to take my picture once for my DL up until now. And, I've gotta say, it was a great picture. Loved it. I got to the DPS, filled out the form....and then realized I would have to take a new picture. Bummer. :( Needless to say, I now have the proverbial super bad driver's license picture. Seriously. It's bad. I told a friend of mine that the upside is that it's SO bad, that when people see it and then see me, I have a good chance of looking much better in person than in my picture. Which is a good thing. Oh, man, it's bad.

I've also changed my name with my district's human resources department. Fun times. :)

So, there ya go. My name changing adventures. Of course, I still have to go to the bank and stuff like that, but I'm waiting for the official documents to come in to do all of that. What kinds of adventures have you had, ladies? ;)

Check out my new toy....

Isn't she pretty? :) For the most part, I'm liking my new phone. There are some little things that I liked better on my old phone, which you'd think would be featured on my new phone, said phone being more technologically advanced than my old one. Little things like being able to assign a custom ring tone for specific contacts' text messages, as well as a separate ring tone for a phone call from the same contact. I liked this feature because I knew when my husband was calling and could differentiate between a call from him (answer now!) or a text from him (not as urgent). Another thing I'm having problems with is accessing my Windows Live services on the BlackBerry. So far I've only been able to set up my email account through the BlackBerry Internet service. But the Windows Live mobile site is, apparently, not compatible with my BlackBerry. Which I find strange. Because isn't the purpose of the BlackBerry to be more in touch with all of those communication venues? Anyway, Windows Live is my main communication portal, so this is kind of annoying for me. Oh well.

The last thing that I find highly annoying is that, of course, none of the games and ringers that I already purchased (with unlimited license to use) are not compatible with my new BlackBerry. So unlimited use or not, I have to repurchase anything I would like, in the format specifically made for BlackBerry smartphones. Smart business people, annoyed customer. At least they gave me one game. Sheesh. :P

Other than those few things, I am liking the other advanced features of the phone. It's fun having a super tiny computer. Because, basically, that's what it is. So, anyway, I am having a good time learning about the features and shortcuts and all that jazz.

I love upgrade time. :D

So...it is stinkin' HOT this summer. I have lived in Texas my entire life, and I always remember the temperature getting into the 100's towards the end of July, beginning of August. But here it is, June, and it's already up in the 100's. That's okay. Thank goodness for air conditioning!

Although, when your AC stops blowing cold air, like ours has today, it's not so good. Luckily we have blackout shades, and our apartment is positioned in such a way, that our apartment is not super hot...yet. This happened to us a couple of weeks ago, and after a day without AC it got super hot and stuffy. We basically spent the night and day as a nudist colony of two...sorry for the candor, but it was necessary.

So far this summer, the husband and I have enjoyed being together. We've gone to the movie theater quite often, watching pretty much all of the new movies that come out that seem interesting enough. Although we've caught a couple of duds lately. "Year One" turned out to be pretty stupid and sacrilege. There were some funny parts, but I probably should've walked out early in the movie. "Land of the Lost" was also dumb, and not all that funny, period. But we've enjoyed most of the movies we've chosen to watch. We will probably end up going to watch "Transformers" sometime today. No matter what, I like going on dates with my husband. :) We have fun together.

(This is Fernando and me on our Valentine's day date (it's on June 12th in Brazil, so that's when we celebrated). We went to Texas Roadhouse (his favorite restaurant) and a movie. We even showered and he shaved!!)

That being said, I gotta tell you guys...married life is difficult! More so than I thought it would be. I think I am still adjusting to the mentality of being MARRIED and all that being so entails. We argued about something recently, and I have to admit that one of the thoughts that crossed my mind was that if we were dating and this happened, I'd probably not see or talk to him for a couple of days. But when you're married, that's not a feasible or healthy reaction to the situation. Well, nor when you're dating, but it's not even POSSIBLE when you're married because you live together. So, when you're committed, you are kind of forced to talk things out and learn A LOT, very quickly, about what it means to become humble, to forgive, to compromise, to cooperate, to let go, and, above all, to love. It's an interesting ride. But we're doing pretty well. I've heard that the first year is the hardest. So far, I believe that statement! It's a good thing that we are very aware of how much we love each other and how determined and committed to make our marriage a great one we are, because without that...goodness. Marriage truly is an act of faith.

But such an amazingly wonderful, rewarding, fun, beautiful adventure!! :) Despite the bumps in the road we've already met, in meshing our lives and lifestyles and cultures (VERY different!) together, I love being married! And not JUST being married...I love being married to MY husband!! He's a wonderful husband, and never have I felt more loved and cherished than when I am with him. Are there even words? Not really. :)

Okay, so that tangent was rather far out there. :P

The one thing I wish would drastically improve is the number of people requesting my husband's services. He's such an amazing photographer. Sometimes I feel kind of sad that he's not been able to use his hard work and talent as much as I think he is worth. But, realistically speaking, he's only been here a couple of months. Hopefully this will all pick up within the next year.

I'm excited for the 4th of July! Fernando has never celebrated before! It's gonna be so much fun!!! :)

Anyway, we ordered Chinese and are soon going to eat lunch and watch the Brazil vs South Africa soccer game. I cannot WAIT for the World Cup next year!! LOVE it!

Take care and God bless...

P.S. Uploading all of the wedding pictures is not very efficient here on blogger. So here are the links for my facebook albums:

Our Wedding Day

Wedding Reception

Bridals

Today is Valentine's Day...in Brazil. So the hubs and I are going to celebrate with a dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and a movie. We're even gonna shower for our date tonight. Woo-hoo! :P

In celebration of love, and our love in particular, let me share a few of our wedding day photos with all of you. I hope the rest of you have a wonderful day as well!! :)

......

Okay, so blogger is being crazy and not letting me post pictures right now. And now I have to go get ready for my date with my husband. Yippee!! So I'll post pictures later. Tchau!! :)